i kept a running tab of my trip to slo. it's kinda long, but since i wrote it i'm gonna post it...

begin log entry one :: 09.01.01 :: 2:11pm

just got on the train to san louis obispo... sitting right next to a 120v jack, i've decided to plug in my laptop and keep a running log of my trip. unfortunatley i've forgotten my network card at home, so i guess i'll just have to pass this off to click on floppy and bum a computer if i want to blog it...

i'm actually fairly happy that i've decided to shun work for the next couple days and take some time for myself. i get to hang out with click in her hood and i get to take a break from my friends. i've been wanting to take a little time off from them for a while now. maybe after toorcon i'll take a couple weeks to a month off from everything [except work... there's no escaping that.] and just get my head straight.

i need to get my head straight.

headphones on, mp3 cd player set to random... i'm taking a mini-vacation.

"i hear the train a comin' / it's rollin' round the bend / and i ain't seen the sunshine since i don't know when"

end log entry one :: 09.01.01 :: 2:21pm

begin log entry two :: 09.01.01 :: 2:33pm

this is me channeling. i'm not sure who, but it's the one of the first times i've written poetry in a while. a while ago i lost my muse, but the past couple weeks i've regained a slight voice nudging me along. encouraging me. i'm not as quick as i was before - i used to whip out poetry in mere minutes - but i'm becoming more like my old self. hopefully my muse was just on a sabatical...

"blue music for a blackened soul"

hundreds of things i could have said
none of them would have been right
perhaps it wasn't in the cards
i'm pretty sure it wasn't in my heart
otherwise, i would have thought of a way to make you stay
now here i am and you're not
no other option
but to be here alone
no other option
than to languish in misery
a prisoner to myself
hurt, lost, gone
overwhelming anguish has given way to tears
numbed by the thought
of you with another
trying to shake this disease
but it seems there's no cure

end log entry two :: 09.01.01 :: 2:56pm

begin log entry three :: 09.01.01 :: 5:26pm

mmm... just got some garlic pretzels and a couple 22oz. bottles of stone indian pale ale. i'm begining to feel pretty sweet since i had very little for lunch before i left... i chugged the first one back in the diner car and i dispatched the first one in about 10 minutes. slightly expensive temporary buzz, but it'll do.

santa barbara is a beautiful place. it has the clean feel of orange county while still having a distinct feeling of history. i may not mind living here. sprint pcs has shit for coverage up this way tho.

this train ride has reminded me how much i still haven't seen of this world. yeah, i'm still young [23] but i still haven't seen anywhere close as much as i wanted to. hell, this time last year i was fully expecting to move to ohio and work for hacksec's parent company for christ's sakes. i've been meaning to ride the new york subway... visit boston and the sam adams brewery... go to new orleans for mardi gras... hit london and see the city via the tube... drink my way thru dublin's pubs... go to tokyo's tech district... get falling down drunk in cancun... ride a restored vespa thru san fransisco...

yet i've done none of this. and i feel like i've robbed myself. it's not like i'm going to die tommorow, but perhaps i've sold myself short in the grand scheme of things.

watching the scenery go by for the past couple hours has made me realize all this. keeping my eye on the sun getting closer to the pacific, becoming unbearable to stare at has made me have a moment of clarity so to speak...

i need to go out and live.

"it's a beautiful world / for you / for you / for you"

end log entry three :: 09.01.01 :: 5:50pm

begin log entry four :: 09.01.01 :: 7:15pm

well... i'm glad my brother's pot hook-up flaked. even if i am out forty bucks, a drug sniffing dog just got on the train in lompoc. so if i actually did hook up with some weed i'd be in a world of shit right now. oh, and now the train's running 15 minutes behind because of that shit. so yeah, sorry click... i don't have pot. sorry `bout that. but i also didn't get arrested. so i've got that going for me.

end log entry four :: 09.01.01 :: 7:20pm

begin log entry five :: 09.01.01 :: 7:59pm

when i got up to go to the bathroom i decided it was high time to get another stone ipa. third beer on this trip. yes, they are 22oz. a piece... no, that's not a lot of booze...

i missed the sunset because the marine layer was so thick. that's okay tho it looks like we've lost most of the marine layer. now, all i occasionally see out the window is an errant set of headlights or a distant street lamp. in about half an hour i'm going to be in san louis obispo and i'll get to meet click's friend winterlee and then maybe we'll get dinner. i decided to throw in cake's "comfort eagle" and decided to let my mp3 player's randomizer have a rest. i've got a fair ammount of stuff done on the train today:

:: i designed a new guerrillanews flyer
:: i read thru a lot of the websites i'd grabbed for "later reading"
:: i edited 85% of the new vicious propaganda*
:: i started re-reading "survivor" by chuck palahniuk

...so that makes me happy.

shit. train's arriving at it's desitnation. gotta go.

*shhh, nobody knows [or cares - save for eddy current, our number one fan] that i'm mounting another vp comeback... now all i have to do is migrate it to it's domain name and edit another.

"adjictives on a typewriter / he moves his words like a prizefighter / the frenzied pace of the mind inside the cell"

end log entry five :: 09.01.01 :: 8:28pm

begin log entry six :: 09.03.01 :: 1:33am

well, tommorow afternoon i go home. hopefully i'll have a job... christ i'm relaxed. click and i have been getting high all thru the weekend. it's been a fucking blast. and even tho i give her shit for the whole "i <3 my bong" thing i've gotta agree, elvira is a freaking awesome bong...

but yeah, i got to the train station more or less on time and click and winterlee were there in mere minutes. after dropping winterlee off, click and i came back to her placed and commenced with the weed and whatnot. god i got high. so anyway i started playing maestro and throwing together some music to compliment our high. after a while click's friend megan came home, helped finish off a bowl and after more music [and me watching geiss for a while] we all pretty much crashed.

i woke up today at a little past 11 and click and megan were already making breakfast. i guess they already swam in the pool and hit up rite-aid by the time i'd slept off my previous night's high. click was making cinnamon pancakes and megan cut up an assload of fruit that we barely nibbled on... so i played with chloe [one of click's dogs] while breakfast was being prepared and then we ate. after cleanup, megan headed out and click and i headed into slo to go pick winterlee up. we'd all decided that we should walk around slo and then hit the drive-on beach. then we headed down to this pier drove out on it, checked out a fish market and watched some seals sunning themselves on the dock. blah blah dennys. blah blah back to click's. then we decided to play some dreamcast and smoke some more weed. mmm... weed. apparently winterlee decided she was hungry again so we headed down to jack in the box and click, who was driving, was completely stoned. we made it to and from completely safe tho. back home again, we smoked up one last time, watched a rerun of jackass, the utterly shitty andy dick show, and the repeat of south park. click dozed off and winterlee and i watched the chris wylde show and insomniac [which is one of my favorite shows atm]. click woke up halfway thru insomniac, stumbled up to bed and winterlee and i soon followed...

actually, if you'll pardon me it's bedtime. i've got a train to catch in 13 hours.

end log entry six :: 09.03.01 :: 1:52am

begin log entry seven :: 09.03.01 :: 7:59pm

well, after waking up a little later than i wanted to i headed downstairs and messed around in the pool with click and winterlee for a while. then i headed upstairs, hit the shower, packed, ate a quick lunch [hot dogs and donuts that i wasn't awake to enjoy at breakfast] and we all headed back to slo to drop winterlee off and get me to the train station so i could catch my bus to santa barbara to catch the train.

the bus ride was semi-uneventful save for a really cute girl sitting across the asile from me and some dude who spotted said cute girl and decided to sit right behind her and loom over her the entire ride. yeah, i know watching all this makes me as bad as the guy but i really wasn't paying much attention seeing as how i was more busy trying to read "survivor" by chuck palahniuk and look at the simply amazing scenery. the bus ride from slo to santa barbara was amazing, and it was really complimented by flogging molly which i had going on the mp3 player...

so here i sit with a 22oz. stone porter and the mp3 player on random again... completely relaxed and content. this has been such a wonderful weekend that i almost feel rejuvinated. i'm at least back to 85% capacity. no longer do i feel like i'm going to have a nervous breakdown. no longer do i feel like i want to drink myself into oblivion.

stronger. happier. content.

thanks for playing hostess click. i really needed this weekend.

end log entry seven :: 09.03.01 :: 8:15pm

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