i've gotta be up in under five hours and i can't sleep. ugh.

apparently i'm the type of guy who girls are perfectly comfortable saying "let's go to the strip club and get some ice cream." to. i'm not sure if that's actually cool or not.

click will probably be a bit pissed that i didn't go get strippers and ice cream with her and i'm still up at one-fifteen in the morning. she can deal with that as far as i'm concerned. she probably thinks that i'm avoiding her since i've completely missed the last three or four calls she's sent my way. that's not the issue at all. on the weekends i'm not supposed to be in the office i take my cell phone and keep it as far away from me as possible, checking messages every couple hours. lately i've kept it on the charger because the battery is going bad and i need a new one. but i explained that, so that's cool. but i've got another issue...

i like click. i dig on her, she knows it. i've told her and she just wants to be friends. that's okay, because wanting to date an eighteen year-old is something i swore i'd never do again. and i fully plan on keeping my word there. but christ there's comfort in hanging out with her. i felt it when i was into on a certain someone else [who shall remain nameless to maintain my innocence] and i've come to the conclusion that it's because the last real relationship with a woman i expirenced was with my ex-girlfriend jan close to five years ago. every woman since then that i've gotten close to and feel comfortable with i want to date. every last one of them.

ever last one of you guys out there are suckers just like me. every girl you get close to - at one point or another - you want to hook up with them. it's the nature of the beast. you can't help it and neither can i.

fuck. enough of this tirade. looks like i'm gonna get a little over four hours of sleep. feh, it'd figure.