2.05.2002

christ. came into work this morning and my work box was down. looks like the power supply failed, so i replaced it and went on with my day. both technopagan and warflower came by and we got lunch at varsity burger. mmm... varsity burger.

work really dragged today and i wasn't feeling too well. there's a lot of bad vibes in the twentythreedotorg camp and they're taking their toll on me. i'm not going to try and be totally innocent - because i'll admit that i've sent out some bad juju myself - but fuck, everything is slowly falling apart. it's getting downright depressing. it's a whole lot of "fuck this guy", "fuck that guy", "fuck this shit" which in the past just leveled itself out. but with a great deal of folks leaving for where the jobs are - and where the shitheads aren't - that's not the case anymore. people who are fed up with each other won't fix their problems because it's just easier to move away than deal with the bullshit.

and i agree. why go thru the effort of fixing things - or even throw a slapdash patch on stuff - when you're not going to see the person again for a couple of months? things will get better if you just ignore the issues, right? wrong. right now i feel less a part of an extended family and more a part of... i don't know what. all i know is it doesn't feel right. not a goddamn person has the balls to pull someone aside and try to fix the problems they have with that person. nobody wants confrontation because in the past confrontation just makes matters worse.

i'll be the first to admit i go about my confrontation the wrong way. i've always been out in the open with most everything i do. if someone annoys me, i'll come out and say it in front of everyone. their feelings - and anyone else's for that matter - be damned. not cool. i've got to change. but then again so do some other people. ugh. i'm going to take my mind off things and watch craig kilborn.

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