i've pretty much gotten used to ignoring the webcam. i didn't realize it was on until i was organizing things on my desktop. hell, the icon for the software resides in the system tray so it's pretty unobtrusive. i've been rocking out to underworld's "second toughest in the infants" all day. i picked it up at tower records saturday when i went in to pick up white stripes tickets - which were sold out. i acutally used to own a copy back in nintey.seven but that disappeared right after i got it at a friend's house who i had a falling out with. hell, the jerk still has all my nintendo games and about a dozen cd's i lent him... but i won't get into that right now.

i'm battling depression and mood swings at the moment. a lot of it has to do with noid moving away and skroo doing his damndest to leave, the stress of not knowing if i'll have a job or not at the end of the month, me growing more and more distant from friends who i used to hang out with all the time and lack of romance. y'know, just the normal shit. i have such a hard time beliving it's been almost four years since jan and i broke up and all i have to show for it is some month or two relationships and two generous handfulls of dates sprinkled with a liberal ammount of casual sex. i should still be happy that i get laid from time to time, but i'm not really content with it. [oh shit, here goes my mantra again. like a broken fucking record...] i need a real, bona fide relationship. if i keep looking tho i'm never going to find it. i've just got to let go and let things do what they need to.

ugh, anyhow back to work.

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